Can You Get Out Of The Friend Zone While Being Yourself?

“Just be yourself” is probably the most common pieces of advice that you’ll come across when looking for advice on how to get out of the friend zone.

I received a rather interesting question about getting out of the friend zone when I opened my email inbox this morning, and I thought I should share my thoughts with you because this seems to be a common, recurring theme with plenty of readers.

“You say that I need to change if I want to have any hopes of getting out of the friend zone. That’s all well and good, but by changing, surely I’m not being myself anymore? So surely that’s not really going to work in the long run?”

And believe me when I say that it’s probably one of the biggest utter crap that I’ve ever seen.

Insanity

See, I didn’t do very well with women when I first started getting interested in the opposite sex. Actually, I fared quite HORRIBLY for several years. Looking back, I realized that I did PLENTY of things wrong back then. If I went on “just being myself” and applied what everybody else continued to tell me (I did for a while until I wised up) then I would’ve gone on and on doing the wrong things, wondering why they weren’t working.

A wise author by the name of Rita Mae Brown once said, “The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result.”

Laziness

When I realized that relying on the “just be yourself” piece of advice and not doing anything to improve my situation, I inhenerently was being a lazy douchebag who used a convenient excuse to not do anything and keep on doing what I’ve always done. I wasn’t willing to accept that there was something wrong with me, that I was perfect just the way I am — a very egoistical point of view if I must say so myself.

It feels good to say that we are “just being ourselves” because it’s an easy way out. There is no need to subject ourselves to the potential of failure, because we can just blame the rest of the world for not accepting us for who we are. It’s a convinient excuse to keep on doing the same bad habits that we’ve developed over time.

It’s All About Self-Improvement

I’ve said time and time again that getting out of the friend zone is about self-improvement. It was never about easy, neither is it about pretending to be somebody that you’re not. It’s about being the man that we always wanted to become. It’s about being happy and knowing that you are achieving your full potential.

While you might feel uncomfortable at first when I tell you that you need to break through the touch barrier and escalate touch levels, you are essentially working towards being a person that others are more comfortable being around with once touching becomes second nature to you.

While it might seem wrong at first when I tell you that you should stop putting so much focus on her and start finding ways to have fun without her, you are essentially working towards being a self-reliant person who can make his own happiness instead of relying on something or someone else for it.

While you might feel disgusted at first when I tell you that you should start talking about sexual topics with her (or at least, not be shy about discussing things that deal with physical intimacy), you are essentially working towards being a man who isn’t afraid to speak his own mind and take charge of conversations.

Everything we discuss goes beyond the actual technique and is actually about high-level strategy that works on another level that is meant to guide you towards becoming a better man. It hasn’t been an easy journey for me, but I’ve been toughened up by the heartbreaks that I’ve experienced and learned my lessons. Embrace the discomfort instead of wallowing in self-pity, and you WILL become the man that you want to be and thank yourself in the long run.

Once you’re ready to learn not just how to get out of the friend zone, but most importantly how to embark on the journey of being the best man that you can be, I invite you to read on to give you a headstart on your goal to flick off the friend zone for good.

Thanks for reading.

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Tags: "Just Be Yourself", Embracing Discomfort, Full Potential, Get Out Of The Friend Zone, Insanity, Internalizing, Laziness, Second Nature