So you’re good friends with a woman, but over time developed feelings for her. Now you’re wondering what you can do to get her to like you and accomplish the unthinkable: get out of the friend zone.

I’m going to tell you something and you need to wrap your mind around this: by trying to “make” a woman like you, all you will accomplish to is to create resistance instead of attract. With almost everything in this world, if the desire for someone (or something) isn’t already there, you’ll be fighting an uphill battle trying to get them to want him.

Your job is to attract her, not to convince her that she likes you. There’s a very fine line between the two.

If this is the case, then what’s the right way to “create her desire” for you then?

Some people might not like what I’m going to say, but I have to be blunt: you’re going to need to make some changes to yourself.

You don’t have to completely reinvent yourself. All you need to do is to adopt some of the qualities that she already desires in a man.

I cover these qualities in my booklets (they’re free — have you downloaded your copies yet?), but in a gist, some of them include:

• Desired by other women…

• Embraces his own sexuality…

• Unafraid to seize opportunities…

• Willingness to walk away…

• An unshakable confidence in himself…

…Just to name a few. The best part of it all is that you can still be yourself; albeit a little touched-up with big improvements.

You never have to “create desire” in a woman. The traits above are universal to 95% of all women — they all want men with these traits. Once you develop these qualities in yourself, half the battle is already won.

While others in your place are trying to “convince” be one of the few who realize that it’s about “attraction.” You will become irresistible not just with the woman you’re trying to get out of the friend zone with, but also with others. Think about this long and hard, and as soon as you really internalize this concept, watch yourself mold into a magnet that attracts the woman you really want.

(If you still haven’t gotten your free books, I highly suggest you do so now. It’ll probably be the most important books you’ll read that will help you get out of the friend zone.)

Don’t you just HATE it when this happens?

Say there’s a woman that you’re trying to get out of the friend zone with, and rest assured you are trying your darndest to succeed. Sometimes, you feel like you’re so close.. But there are other times when she acts like a complete cold fish while you have no idea what you did wrong.

Either that, or she could be giving off ALL THE RIGHT SIGNALS that you should be going for the close, yet she keeps on saying that she just wants to be friends.

Why do women do this? Unfortunately, we will never know. We could assume that they enjoy toying with men, but in this instance let’s give her the benefit of the doubt. Another reason that I believe women give off mixed signals with men that are going for them because they themselves don’t know how they feel.

It’s the classic conflict between the logical and the emotional parts of the mind. They might be getting caught in the moment. Their emotional side is telling them to go for it, but for some reason or another, her logical mind is telling her not to (the best way to “convince” a woman is by approaching it from the emotional perspective, as you shall soon see).

Other “experts” might say that the best thing to do is to walk away. Yes, sometimes, that’s the only choice you have, and you should never be afraid to walk away. But to me, walking away is like folding a hand in poker: your chances of winning automatically become zero. Walking away is always my last resort — not if I think I can exhaust all possibilities to try and “win the hand.”

So what’s a guy supposed to do?

First, you need to make sure that she IS indeed giving mixed signals. There’s a chance that you could simply be reading her wrong. To be sure, observe how she acts with other male friends of hers and see if she gives off the same vibe with them. If she treats them in the same way that she treats you, then problem solved: she’s just being friendly with you. But if she acts significantly different with you than she does with other male acquaintances, then it might be the case of inner conflict with her.

If it is the latter, then I like to mirror her actions back towards her. When she’s acting all mushy and sweet towards me, I respond back — heavy. My level of touching increases (we would walk arm in arm; sometimes hand in hand), I would hug a lot more often, I’d put my arm around her, etc. My verbal flirting also increases, and I would say things like, “I always like giving you a hug during times like these” and give her a bear hug. You don’t have to be as drastic as this in the beginning, but you do need to amplify things a notch higher.

During the times that she’s “cold” however, respond back in kind. Be distant and a little aloof. Clearly, she’s not being a fun person to be around — and men will not stand for someone who drags them down, no matter who they might be. Don’t be afraid to hang up the phone (politely, of course) or cut the date short if she’s being a drag. This is how you show that you’re not afraid to walk away without walking away completely.

Over time, she will get the idea that you are open to something more than friendship, but will not stand the mixed signals. When I was dealing with an on-and-off woman before, I remember doing the exact thing I detailed above. Once we were walking hand-in-hand, and I turned to her and asked, “Hey, I wanna know something.. What is *this*?” and pointed towards our hands clasped. That’s when it came out that she liked me, but she was just confused about something.

You cannot logically convince a woman to do something about her mixed signals, because if it is confusion that she feels, then you need to address that confusion with another emotion. You need to overwhelm her with positive emotions towards you to the point that her confusion slowly goes away. Feel free to try out the mirroring strategy if you’re trying to get out of the friend zone with a woman who is the on-and-off-then-on-again type. I believe that you will see some success with this technique.

I received a rather interesting question about getting out of the friend zone when I opened my email inbox this morning, and I thought I should share my thoughts with you because this seems to be a common, recurring theme with plenty of readers.

“You say that I need to change if I want to have any hopes of getting out of the friend zone. That’s all well and good, but by changing, surely I’m not being myself anymore? So surely that’s not really going to work in the long run?”

“Just be yourself” is probably one of the most common pieces of advice that I’ve come across with when I was looking for advice on how to be better with women and get out of the friend zone myself. And believe me when I say that it’s probably one of the biggest utter crap that I’ve ever seen.

Insanity

See, I didn’t do very well with women when I first started getting interested in the opposite sex. Actually, I fared quite HORRIBLY for several years. Looking back, I realized that I did PLENTY of things wrong back then. If I went on “just being myself” and applied what everybody else continued to tell me (I did for a while until I wised up) then I would’ve gone on and on doing the wrong things, wondering why they weren’t working.

A wise author by the name of Rita Mae Brown once said, “The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result.”

Laziness

When I realized that relying on the “just be yourself” piece of advice and not doing anything to improve my situation, I inhenerently was being a lazy douchebag who used a convenient excuse to not do anything and keep on doing what I’ve always done. I wasn’t willing to accept that there was something wrong with me, that I was perfect just the way I am — a very egoistical point of view if I must say so myself.

It feels good to say that we are “just being ourselves” because it’s an easy way out. There is no need to subject ourselves to the potential of failure, because we can just blame the rest of the world for not accepting us for who we are. It’s a convinient excuse to keep on doing the same bad habits that we’ve developed over time.

It’s All About Self-Improvement

I’ve said time and time again that getting out of the friend zone is about self-improvement. It was never about easy, neither is it about pretending to be somebody that you’re not. It’s about being the man that we always wanted to become. It’s about being happy and knowing that you are achieving your full potential.

While you might feel uncomfortable at first when I tell you that you need to break through the touch barrier and escalate touch levels, you are essentially working towards being a person that others are more comfortable being around with once touching becomes second nature to you.

While it might seem wrong at first when I tell you that you should stop putting so much focus on her and start finding ways to have fun without her, you are essentially working towards being a self-reliant person who can make his own happiness instead of relying on something or someone else for it.

While you might feel disgusted at first when I tell you that you should start talking about sexual topics with her (or at least, not be shy about discussing things that deal with physical intimacy), you are essentially working towards being a man who isn’t afraid to speak his own mind and take charge of conversations.

Everything we discuss goes beyond the actual technique and is actually about high-level strategy that works on another level that is meant to guide you towards becoming a better man. It hasn’t been an easy journey for me, but I’ve been toughened up by the heartbreaks that I’ve experienced and learned my lessons. Embrace the discomfort instead of wallowing in self-pity, and you WILL become the man that you want to be and thank yourself in the long run.

Once you’re ready to learn not just how to get out of the friend zone, but most importantly how to embark on the journey of being the best man that you can be, I invite you to get these two free books to give you a headstart on your goal to flick off the friend zone for good.

Thanks for reading.

Here’s a typical scenario of how the friend zone situation is for most guys:

You meet a girl. You hit it off pretty well. You start being friends. You kinda feel that she kinda has a thing for you, but you’re too scared to make a move. You get an opportunity to take the relationship to the next level, but you’re still too scared so you don’t do anything. Time passes. You’re still friends. You have a great time whenever you’re together, and you’re closer than ever with each other. When you FINALLY do get the courage to say or do something, she delivers the ultimate blow: “I just want to be friends.”

So now you’re trying to find out how to get out of the friend zone and stay out of it, for good.

Is there any hope for you? Fortunately, the answer is a resounding “YES!”

For most guys, getting out of the friend zone usually means that you had a chance at the beginning, but then somehow, some way, for some reason or the other, YOU BLEW IT. You took a wrong turn somewhere, and ended up in the dreaded friend zone.

I’ve landed in the friend zone MANY TIMES ever since I started liking girls.

So what do you do now? Here, I’m going to share with you my simple 7-step process on how to get out of the friend zone

1.) Accept the reality of the situation. No begging or pleading for her to give you a chance. She made a conscious decision to not be anything more than friends with you, and no amount of convincing will change her mind. Instead, we’re going to approach the situation by working on her irrational and illogical side. Don’t withdraw yourself, but you’ll do much better if you start putting less focus on her and more focus on you at this stage of the process.

2.) Improve yourself. There is no single person in this world who can’t use a touch of self-improvement. Start lifting weights. Start eating healthy. Learn something new. Try out some sports. Get that adrenaline pumping through your veins. Trust me, you’ll feel much better about yourself and gain more self-confidence, and you’ll look better in the process (if you decide to work out).

3.) Have fun with other people. You cannot and should not put all your eggs in one basket, EVER. Start meeting some people. Your friends have friends who have friends of their own — work different social circles. Meet girls and learn how to flirt well. Ironically, the more women you meet, the better you will do with the girl you’re trying to escape the friend zone with. The more jealous she gets, the better.

4.) Ask her out on a Non-Date. Now the game begins. If she’s hesitant to go out with you on one-to-one basis, start asking her out on Non-Dates. A Non-Date is basically a get-together where you ask her to accompany you doing something that you would do anyway. Something like picking up some books, buying some new clothes, etc. She’s more likely to go with you than if you ask her to go to dinner.

5.) Flirt with her. The number one reason guys can’t get out of the friend zone is because they don’t realize that it’s a matter of sexual attraction; or rather, the lack of it. So start teasing her playfully. Start with playful compliments until you can eventually move on to flirting that’s more sexual in nature. If I notice that she put on some perfume, my favorite line is, “You cannot wear that perfume around me any more, because I’m afraid that one of these days I won’t be able to hold control myself and do something BAD.”

6.) Emphasize your sexuality. If you failed to make a move before, then you can’t be Mr. Touchy all of a sudden — she’ll know what your doing. Start slow with casual touches on the arm, or the small of her back. Then graduate to hugs. If she talks about other guys, then talk about other girls and be very graphic. Make sure that she knows that you are a man who doesn’t repress his sexual urges (it’s okay!).

7.) Make your move. If you do steps 5-7 well enough, you will find that you’ll be gradually escalating. Your flirting becomes more sexual by nature, she starts being touchier with you, and your dates become more serious. By the time that this happens, you have done well. To accomplish your mission of getting out of the friend zone, you MUST make your move. There is no way in hell that she is going to be making the first move, but she will be giving you hints that it’s okay to do something now. Do not be a fool and miss this second chance! When opportunity knocks, open the door and pounce on it.

And that’s it! I know it’s VERY simplified, but that’s the basic process that you must follow from beginning to end if you want to know how to get out of the friend zone. It took me many years and even more heartbreaks to finally figure it out, but that very process has worked MIRACULOUSLY for me every single time I have applied it.

If you want more details, I actually wrote a lot more on the topic. But I ended up writing so much that it cannot be covered in a single article, so I compiled them into not one, but TWO booklets. You can get them for free — I want to share the knowledge with every male in the world who wants to know how this process is done.

To get your FREE copy of the booklets on how to get out of the friend zone, click here. Good luck!